Mamabear

Hi everyone! How has everyone been? I am so pysched to finally have a chance to get back in the game. Wow, what a crazy couple of months. Last I posted I believe that I menioned something about a move……we did! We moved from a really horrible depressing area, 3rd floor apartment, poor heating and cooling, couldn’t get a cross breeze, the landlord turned out to be a slum lord….in the end he took all of the light bulbs out of the sockets so that we had to walk up and down three flights in complete darkness while carrying a toddler and an infant…..I took plenty of pictures and sent them to the proper authortiies so the next tenants should be protected. When they realized we were leaving the tenants kids who also lived in the building decided to start trashing my husband’s car, egged, coffee grinds, mustard….real class acts, they started to have all night parties again……yup it was fun. So, while this is going on my mother bought our new house, it was completely trashed and needed a great deal of work. We moved in sooner than we were going to because the apartment we were living in was unsafe and it was getting worse by the day. We were honestly in fear of what they were going to do next. So, we moved in here…..I got a lot of excercise let me tell you…..I tore up rugs, tore up nails and God I have to say that I probably pulled at least two thousand staples out of the floors, I scrubbed floors on my hands and knees, I have scrubbed this place down several times……it’s crazy how much work there has been, we cleared the land out back. Our part of the house is split level so I get to walk up the stairs everyday. We looked at the rooms our kids room plus our livingroom in this house is probably the same exact amount of space that we had in that horrible apartment. I have been able to walk around the house we have more space then we know what to do with.

The kids are doing great. Actually they seem to be so happy. Everyone was telling me that there was going to be such a hard adjustment for the kids because that was the only home either had ever known…..no problems actually they seemed so happy to be here. No crying, no problems sleeping, eating, nothing. My little baby girl has been great, omg she loves running around, she loves that her grandma lives so close now, she loves her backyard, we are trying to potty train her again now that we are settled, she is making it really interesting. This is day two of cloth training pants…..today…..she stripped her pant off, sat down and peed……..the bad news it wasn’t the potty chair……it was the space boards…….that’s going to smell special when we turn those on. My little manly man is two and a half feet tall, seven months old. Very big man, he slendered down a bit, never fat but now he is really lean….muscle man…..everywhere we go all these women are checking him out,he flirts big time….oh especially when it comes to the older ladies…..he just flirts away.

On a personal note I am doing okay. We have all hard wood floors so I haven’t got down and excercised plus my spine is killing me where the epidural went for the c-section, it will act up like this for a long time so I am trying to get used to it. Anyone with any good ideas on what to use for the floor let me know, towels are too thin and comforter is too soft. I am still really peeved with my husband’s step mother, the one that called me fat and said that I would never loose the weight, plus she decided to not come to my daughter’s birhday party last second and didn’t let my FIL bring my daughter even a birthday card, it’s been three months and my daughter hasn’t received anything from her grandfather because she insists on being there when she gets it, kind of ridiculous but I don’t care my daughter was well taken care of by us so I know she didn’t miss out. They are actually coming here this weekend…..gonna let them see the new house then I am sending them off with my husand to dinner, I am getting out of it. I am going to stay here and play with my kids and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Let me know how everyone is doing.

This is my “Common Sense” Diet. This is what works for me. I am writing it here because I am stating what I am going to do and this will help me stick with it.

This works under one fact…..I am fat and I don’t want to be.

I am back on my diet. No reason to stop me now. No more taking breaks nothing…..they obviously do more harm then good. I was stupid to use a relaxed eating day as a reward for loosing so much weight. I need to get back into my old habits. I still have a lot of stuff set up for my diet. I am taking my fiber choice again. I am cutting back my portions. I am getting off my big behind and getting more done. I am cutting back on meat. I am going back to my healthy lunch, cereal or salad….sometimes fruit. I am drinking plenty of water. No more juices or anything else. I am sick of this. I am back in the game. I don’t think I am going to re-join a group because I don’t want to have to weigh myself every week that really stresses me out when I don’t see the results I think I should. I will weigh myself once a month at my mother’s house. I am throwing out my scale. Alright talk to everyone tonight. Bye.

Okay, so I can’t do this on my own for a couple of weeks. I have been really messing up. I thought I could really pull this together on my own for a couple of weeks but I can’t. I haven’t been able to stick to anything. I don’t have the willpower or feel as if I have the support that I need. I think I only gained a few pounds, I know it’s not that bad because the ring on my finger is still loose and my pants that I couldn’t fit into if I was 190 still fit and are still a bit loose. I have to pull this together. I just had my last snack knowing it’s my last snack. I have been slowly going down hill for a little while now. I stupidly allowed the stress from buying the house take contol of me and I have been escaping into complete laziness. I don’t have energy, I am not happy about any of this and I don’t feel in control. I have some really great things to look forward too and I am getting wrapped up in that stuff not liking the wait. We aren’t moving for two weeks and these boxes are taking up a lot of room. Nothing to do here. Really anxious about the move.

I decided that this is it. No more, I have to get my husband back on board, he’s been my dealer the last couple of days. I am going to have to tell him what’s what. Iam going back to my regular plan minus the scale. That thing has been like an albatross around my neck….every day, the pressure, the stress, the depression, waiting. I will weigh myself now and then at my mother’s but for my own sanity this thing has to get thrown out. I am going to go by how I look, how my clothes fit and by measurement. This move, holidays, and going back to school will help keep me focused. I am going to make sure that I come here every day again and give support. I am going to be gone for probably three days for the move but I can do it.

Hey guys. I am now starting to pack up everything and move. There is  a lot to do right now. I am currently taking a leave from the Hot Rods because I really can’t focus on that right now. I have so much to do with the packing, moving, cleaning, painting, and fixing, not to mention all of the little accounts I have to adjust with my new address. Tomorrow we are sending a letter cert. that we are moving. I don’t feel bad about it, this guy wouldn’t even fix pipes up here when he found out gas was leaking in our apartment with two little kids. We should be out of here in less than two weeks. I am so excited. I really can’t wait. I can’t wait for that first Monday morning when I wake up in my new home and take my kids for a walk, or to play in the backyard. This is going to be great. I have a new computer coming, a laptop for school so I might be able to get on now in then. I don’t want anyone to think I quit I am just really busy. This should help take off some pounds Everyone take care. I will be around, just not here every day. I am keeping this as my home page and I am sticking to my plan.

So, I check my account last night because I like to make sure nothing is wrong. I see that we are actually in the negative…..a little shocked. The amount should have been on the plus side. We didn’t miss anything or authorize anything. Everything cleared. A little worried. So, I called a customer rep this morning. The amount is from two places. I find out that the two places have already been paid. They have just an automatic hold on that amount for four days. If you use your debit card like a credit card, with a signature in other words they place an automatic hold on your money, even if they received their money. The hold will last until tomorrow, I already transferred a safe amount from my emergency account into it last night. Even though it was a hold where they received their money, according to the bank I could have still been charged the $25.00 fee because of it. I would have had to go after then two places. That is just messed up. They get their payment and they still place a hold that can adversely effect your account. She said that if you want them to lift the hold you have to call them and deal with them. I am not too worried because it’s pay day so we don’t need the money that is on hold. I am just telling everyone here to give you guys a heads up. If you use your card with a signature they can place a hold for that amount even after they get paid. It’s legal. I will be dealing in only cash transactions from now on unless it’s an emergency. All I can think about is what if one of the babies needed medicine last night……

Anyways, I am back on my pre party weight. Moving will help. My son gave me a concussion last night. He’s only 5 months old. I was holding him while entertaining my husband’s dad and grandma. He was getting anxious he slammed his head really hard into mine. He is okay thank God. I put ice on it and gave him tylenol for babies. The side of my head is still tender, I was literally seeing double, couldn’t look at the dimest of light, my head was ringing for hours. The tiniest sound send pain throughout my head. My daughter was acting up because we had guest at her bedtime so she had no down time before bed. She was screaming. I yelled from the other room for her to be quiet, that didn’t work, I came over to her and told her to go to bed and pointed her in the right direction, that didn’t help…finally I had to do something I would never do, I gave her cookies and juice after she had already brushed her teeth to make the pain stop. She was content munching on her cookies in bed……my head hurt all night. I had to sleep on the couch away from my son. I did fall asleep with him originally but when he woke up screaming at the top of his lungs for his yummies that was a whole new level of pain. My head feels a bit better, it still hurts but not enough that my husband had to stay home and take care of me.

Baby girl just had her two year check-up….screaming….crying……shots…..long ride home. Thankfully our new home is up in that area so it will be a short ride for everything. That happens in three weeks, woohoo. I have figured out a way to go back to school and get my nursing degree followed by my masters. I am going to be attending evening courses to earn my associates, then off to a four year college for nursing, after two I will have it, then onto my masters while I work either perdeim or part time as an RN. Damn I am so tired. Talk to everyone later

well the party is done with. Moving on to the next item on my list….moving. We will be out of here in three weeks! I can’t wait. In the meantime I am going to keep myself occupied with boxing up everything. I am going to throw out a lot of stuff. I think I am also going to make a ledger of everything around our new home and what they have to offer…parks, playgounds, churches, stores..library, etc.

I didn’t do too bad this weekend. My stomach has been acting funny. I have been getting sick now and then. I think it may be stress. My little manly man is teething, well still is but now you can see them at the surface….poor little guy. He is such a little sweetie. OMG, he does the cutest thing now. I put him on a blanket laid out on the floor and he will roll himself clear across the room. He is so cute about it. While he does it he watches me like a hawk, he acts like he is being sneaky. Little cutie pie…..well I have a few things to do here. I am going to come on later and get updated on everyone else. Take care.

it will have to last me until Thanksgiving. I did live it up a bit, but I also worked my big butt off yesterday and today. The step-mom definitely didn’t show up which is unfortunate, I mean don’t get me wrong it was a really really nice party. I can’t remember the last time I had such a good time, but this was not just my daughter’s party it was also the first time our two families were meeting. I don’t know about the situation and I am not going to give it another thought. My DH has enough drama in his family from the other side that we stay away from I am not going to let this turn into something. They want us to come over there soon so she can give my DD some gifts, but because we are moving and it is just such a pain in the buns to drive the 45 to an hour there with two babies both who can’t sleep anywhere there I would rather wait until we are all moved in and invite them down to the new house and have a pot luck lunch type thing. Man I can’t wait to get the heck out of here…..but let’s get to the party.
So, my DD really has never played with any other children. Just because of where we live and currently in my big catholic family there are only a few children around her age. Well, I was really excited about having her two little cousins from my husband’s side come down and play with her. I thought that was the best thing about her birthday. Well, the little girl comes in who is a year older than my DD and she is really shy. My DD chases her around to give her a hug it was so cute. Then the little boy comes in who is only a few years older and he hugs my daughter back. All three sit together in a recliner chair, omg it was so darn sweet and cute…..I forgot our digital camera and had to pick up a disposable one…no idea if it worked. DH’s dad took pictures thank God. It was just so cute…..then all three kids threw on swimmers and went into the kiddie pool my mom bought. The little girl was shy and didn’t really interact with my DD and the little boy. My baby and the little boy were freezing but stayed in. They were having the best time. Splashing and hugging and playing. OMG it was so funny…I was also kicking myself at this time for not bringing my camcorder. I can’t believe I forgot them. Then we did presents. As soon as the little red wagon was cleared and they discovered it had two seats they both jumped in. I took them for a walk. They were so cute. My little girl, I am so proud of gave up her seat in her wagon so that the little girl could have a turn. We just couldn’t get over how my DD and the little boy played, they acted like they were best friends for life. It was so cute. We are going to schedule a play date for them. OMG everyone smiled when they saw them together.
Now to the food……I was naughty, this was my only naughty day until Thanksgiving, I have done really well on my diet, 35 lb loss so I don’t think I have anything to be sorry about or feel guilty about. I am going back to my strict diet tomorrow…..I will have the memories to last me for a while……good times….because my stomach has shrunk from this diet I wasn’t really naughty, couldn’t finish my burger….I just realized I forgot to eat my hotdog….hmmm….finished my potato salad (I am known for my salads, I won’t lie they are good..but fattening)….had pasta salad…..one chip to check the dip…….some bbq chicken…..
Well hope everyone is doing well, take care and remember tomorrow is always a new day…:)

Hey guys. I ended up cooking yesterday for six hours. Omg, my back was killing me and my feet were dead. Lot’s of food. Oh, no worries about my DH’s step mother. My FIL called up last night and told my DH that she was quiting her retail job but she wanted to work one last day tomorrow because they give a discount to friends and family. Yeah I know doesn’t sound right. She supposedly loves these kids like her real grandchildren yet she cancels last minute so she can keep a discount. We don’t care one way or the other, my family was prepared to be very nice to her. I am upset (not like crying upset or ranting upset) that she did this to my little girl. Well, we were talking about it before and we are just going to habe the kids call her by her first name or Aunt. She doesn’t act like a grandma to these kids so not too worried. Don’t worry she has two real grandchildren out there that she is just starting to pay attention to so this may have all worked out for the better. Dh’s dad and everyone is coming so we are happy.

Back to the diet. Some confusion from my last post. I am not using this really as a test to whether I am sticking to the diet. I am using this to see as in life after my diet, moderation. I am going to go easy today. I am going to enjoy my daughter’s party. No soda, no chips and dip, not snacking all day. My mom bought my baby a pool so I will probably be out doors all day with her. I will be back on Monday……….not weighing myself. I will do that Friday. I already decided Monday to Wednesday are going to be very strict diet days for me, no meat at all.
Well everyone enjoy the weather today. It is supposed to be beautiful in New England.

Okay, so this is the big weekend. I am not going to have any time to come on here until Monday. Plus I am not counting calories this weekend. I am not going to be stupid. I will still watch my portions, no soda or chips. I am going to behave. I will try to get my workouts in. This is also a good test for me. If after this weekend where I have more freedom in what I eat I decide not to stay on this diet I am going to be unhappy, but if I make it back which I am positive that I am going to do then I will know that I can do this and that I value my future size four body more than food. So, to all of my buddies when I get back on Monday be prepared to get me back in the game. I need a lot of encouragement and tough love. Thank you in advance